I’m sure all of us at some point have been asked the dreaded question….”How many children do you have?”. Its like being shot with a dart…your heart so desperately aches to tell them about your precious baby that you ache to hold in your arms, but you are so terrified to even mention them as it will trigger the flood gates to open…whilst in the middle of the grocery store holding your tampons, wine and chocolate ice cream. You decide to be brave because you know the joy it will bring to be able to say their name…out loud to another human being…because it confirms they were real. You begin to tell them…I had a baby, but…
And they run out of the store faster than the speed of light. Leaving you feeling isolated, alone and vulnerable because you were feeling so brave, so strong today. You return home from the store with a small ache in your chest only to walk into an empty and silent house. By now your ears have begun to ring from the trigger of grief. Your head feels cloudy and like it is spinning…oh no here come the tears….. 3, 2, 1….
*&%@ THEM. Your baby still exists even if no one else wants to acknowledge it. We don’t need anyone else to tell us it is ok. Or that it is strange. Or if it is what we should be doing. Honoring what is in your heart is what is healthy, normal and right. You don’t need their validation/invalidation. This month, we will be discussing:
Creating space for your baby - Many people think the cure to grieving the loss of a baby is to go forward pretending as if they don't exist, but that is NOT TRUE. By incorporating their energy and spirit into our homes and spaces and the things we do, we are able to heal and support ourselves and others.
Creating traditions for your baby - These can be incorporated into holidays, anniversaries, family gatherings or in private moments. These are some of the ways we can parent them from beyond the grave.
Creating a legacy project in their memory - Big or small, legacy projects and events have a tremendous impact on fundraising and supporting the mission of Three Little Birds, but more importantly they help shatter the stigma of perinatal loss and inspires other families who feel invalidated in their grief.
Grief vs. Mourning - Wait? There is a difference between grief and mourning? Yes! Grief is your internal process of the traumatic event. Mourning is the outward expression of that grief. Sometimes it's aggressive, sometimes it's as big as the ocean, sometimes it can fill our hearts with healing.
Events at the nest this month
For access to our groups and events, sign up for our free membership! Links to virtual meetings and in-person group registrations are provided in our monthly newsletter and private Facebook groups only. This month's hybrid schedule includes:
Virtual - June 1 at 6:30 PM via Zoom - Infertility & Loss Support with Erin Epstein
Virtual - June 6 at 6 PM via Zoom - Pregnancy/Parenting after Loss Support with Kristen & Ashly
In-person - June 7 at 6 PM at the Nest - Upgrade your memory box craft event sponsored by Zara's Tootsies!
Virtual - June 8 at 6:30 PM via Zoom - LGBTQ family building support with Erin Epstein
In-person Signature Event June 9 at 7 PM - Citizens Bank Park - Bereaved Father's Day at the Phillies
In-person - June 12 at 7 PM at the Nest - 2nd Monday's General Grief Support with Desiree and Nicole (registration required)
In-person - June 19 at 6 PM at the Nest - Developing a legacy project info session with Kristen
In-person - June 20 at 6 PM at the Nest - Pregnancy/Parenting after Loss Support with Kristen & Ashly
In-person - June 23 at 5 PM at Wondertime - Pregnancy After Loss Sneak Peek event with Glenda and Desiree
In-person - June 29 at 6 PM at the Village in Collingswood - Pregnancy/Parenting after Loss Support with Kristen & Sarah Hastings