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Meet our newest Bereavement Doula, Gianna!

Gianna learned about Three Little Birds through a friend after experiencing the loss of her son, Hayes. Since then, she has been a regular at support groups and events and in 2024, she took a leap into advocacy through our Perinatal Bereavement Training Program Scholarship with other loss parents. This past year, she welcomed her rainbow baby, Hayes's sister Fiadh and she continues to support the nest as a bereavement doula and friend to others.


How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a parent?

I felt so excited when I first found out, I had a lot of trouble in the beginning so when it finally did happen, we were shocked. I had three failed IUI's before deciding to take a break from medicine and wanted to give my body a break. We ate healthy, limited alcohol, exercised, etc., and then we found out we were pregnant with Hayes naturally.

The day before everything happened, I went on an outing with one of my clients (I work with children with autism). I woke up extremely achy but decided to go on the trip anyway. When we were there, I felt my legs hurting more as we were walking but didn’t think much of it. When I got back to the office, I was eating lunch and felt worse. I decided to leave work early which I never do. When I got home, I decided to take a COVID test. Almost immediately it was positive. That night I relaxed and worked from home the next day.

While working from home I noticed limited movement from Hayes. Which wasn’t not common, he usually moved around more at nighttime. I kept on with my day working but in the back of my mind I was worried. I then started googling what to do when this happens, so I decided to drink something with sugar & did some jumping jacks. Still no movement … I called the OBGYN to let them know what was happening and that I was positive for COVID. They recommended I go to the triage at the hospital and get checked out immediately. My plan was to drive myself, but I don’t know what made me call my dad to come with me. My husband was away for work, so this was pretty much terrible timing for this to happen. When we got there, they hooked me up on the monitor around my belly and the nurse was having a hard time detecting the heartbeat. Still in denial I was in the hospital, and this was all happening. I remember her saying I have go get another nurse. When that nurse came in, pretty much the same thing happened. She stated to us that she needed to get a doctor. I knew almost immediately was happening and how this was going to end. When the doctor came in, she checked and told me that we lost him.

Tell us about Hayes

The inspiration for his name came my husband and I were watching the country music awards and Maren Morris said she wanted to thank her husband and her son, Hayes. When she said that name, we both looked at each other and said that’s the name. Plus, we both liked unique names, so it fit perfectly. Some features I remember when holding him was his nose was identical to my husbands and he had my fingers. I had a bunch of fears how the process would play out and what would happen. But when we held him and meet him it was everything. It was perfect.

How did your village support you through this loss?

My village was great supporting us. My sister let most of our family and friends know what had happened. They were by our side from the very beginning. I was connected to Three Little Birds through social media from another loss mom I know. Her and another mom helped me so much.

What Three Little Birds services, events or programs are your favorite?

The in-person groups!

What does healing look like for you? What has surprised you about the journey?

My healing process started almost immediately. I started therapy right away and was in touch with loss moms which helped. Then I started going to Three Little Birds support groups and so on. I read a lot on grief and loss, which helped me understand and connect more with loss parents. I also didn’t feel so alone when I was reading.

What inspired you to become a bereavement doula?

I wanted to do something for Hayes and being a bereavement doula is perfect way to give back and to help someone.

What have you learned about yourself through all of this? If you could go back and be your own advocate, what would you tell yourself in those delicate moments of your loss?

I was naïve when I heard about stillbirth and miscarriage. I remember reading baby books and skipping those pages. I have learned a lot through my loss. I have helped so many loss moms already from posting my story on my FB and Instagram. Which I want to do more of and advocate. If I would tell myself one thing and go back in moments of loss, I would say it’s going to take time, but it will get better.

Now that you are certified, how do you want to advocate for others and honor your baby?

I want to help other loss families and get the support I got. I want to do this for Hayes.

Interested in supporting perinatal loss families? Register for our fall training!

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