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Meet MamaBird Sara!

Sara learned about Three Little Birds through a friend after experiencing the loss of her son, Oliver. Since then, she has been a regular at support groups and events volunteering her time and in 2022, she took a leap into advocacy through our Perinatal Bereavement Training Program Scholarship with several other loss parents. This past year, she welcomed her rainbow baby, Oliver's brother Theodore and she continues to support the nest as a bereavement doula and friend.


How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a parent?

I was so happy to find out that I was pregnant. We had been trying for a while and had just made an appointment with a fertility doctor when I found out. It was just after Christmas, so I wrapped up the test and wrote a note that said "We got our Christmas miracle after all" I wrapped it up and told my husband that I found one of his presents I hid and forgot about. Shortly after, we found out we were having a boy. We both had always wanted a little boy,. Everything was perfect until it wasn't. I was at work one day when I started spotting and was sent to the hospital. They did blood work and checked for amniotic fluid, an infection, and checked my cervix, but everything was "good". I could feel that something was wrong, but they just kept telling me it was first time mom jitters and not to worry. A few weeks later, the same thing happened. This was May 3. Again, I was sent to the hospital and they repeated the tests with the same result - everything was fine. That night and into the next day, I started having what I thought was Braxton Hicks, except I was bleeding a lot as well. They brought me into the office, but this time the swab for amniotic fluid came back positive and again, the sent me to the hospital. This time they didn't act like everything was okay. I was admitted at 545pm and had delivered Oliver by 8:22pm.

My story is not unlike many others. Healthcare providers not listening to first time moms, simply because they think we're just overthinking everything and worrying for no reason. Sometimes that is the case, yet we're not listened to. I know that this is the true for a lot of people. If people reading my story get anything out of it, it's that never stop insisting that you're right and keep pushing for more tests and for someone to listen to you!

Tell us about Oliver!

I always knew my firstborn son would be named Oliver, Nick just had to realize he agreed with me. We never did come to an agreement, but when he was born and the nurse asked if we had a name, Nick (my husband) told her Oliver without even hesitating. I loved the name Oliver because as a kid, I loved the orange tabby cat in Oliver and Company. I'm also very big on picking names with meanings. The name Oliver means "Olive Branch". I saw this little boy as the olive branch connecting our two families together. He was the cutest little boy ever. He had his dad's nose and ears and my mouth, chin, and lips. I know some people when they lose their baby don't want to hold or see them, but once he was born until the day we left the hospital, I barely put him down.

How did your village support you through this loss?

The people around me were incredibly supportive. From sending food, cards, flowers to doing our laundry, to calls and texts to check in. Not only were they incredible in the first few weeks and months, but have continued to be throughout the last two years. Three Little Birds helped me connect with women and families who have experienced the pain of loss. They gave me a safe place to feel my emotions and be supported. Three little birds also supported me through my pregnancy after loss.

What Three Little Birds services, events or programs are your favorite?

My favorite event is the Wave of Light. This was my first Three Little Birds event. I'm so glad I went and found this organization. My favorite service is the monthly grief groups. It's nice to be able to talk about our babies and support each other.

What does healing look like for you? What has surprised you about the journey? Healing for me looks like acceptance. Acceptance that Oliver isn't coming back, something that, to this day, is very difficult. I knew that losing him would forever change me, but I never realized how hard accepting he's gone forever would be.

What inspired you to become a bereavement doula? My most prized possessions are those that I have from Oliver. The molds of his feet, pictures, footprints, and anything he wore or touched. I wanted to give those memories and keepsakes to others as well.

What have you learned about yourself through all of this? If you could go back and be your own advocate, what would you tell yourself in those delicate moments of your loss?

I've learned that no matter what, I can keep going. If I could go back, I would tell her that she's in for a long road, but she can do anything.

Now that you are certified, how do you want to advocate for others and honor your baby? Now that my rainbow baby is here, I want to continue my advocacy journey by shadowing and going bedside to support others.

About Ollie Bears!

Similar to Molly Bears, Oliver’s mom wanted develop a legacy project to support families who leave the hospital empty armed and broken hearted with a high-quality personalized teddy bear keepsake. Each bear includes a personalized tee shirt with their baby’s name! You can purchase one for yourself through our Etsy store! Your purchase (less fees/materials) serves as a donation to Three Little Birds!

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