October is both Halloween and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. While many recognize the end of the year holidays as difficult for families grieving the loss of a baby, Halloween is particularly difficult for many families.
While we are used to seeing painted and carved orange pumpkins through the harvest season, the white pumpkin has become a symbol to many bereaved parents as a way to memorialize their baby during this child-centric holiday. Displaying a white pumpkin indoors or out is just one way you can help shatter the stigma of loss and support others on their personal family building journeys.
Below is a poem about the white pumpkin (author unknown):
The White Pumpkin
This is the story Of a pumpkin of white What is its place on this autumn night? Amidst all the orange and colors of fall It seems out of place; not belonging at all But oh what a place, and oh what a story You see, in its face lies the image of glory
Of babies so small, so incredibly tiny Perfect in purpose, their souls shining brightly No less a baby, a child just the same As one who was held and called by their name Was my baby a he? Or was she a she? What would my child have grown up to be? Yet bigger than questions and what ifs and whys Is the comfort they feel when they look to the skies For their hope is the truth that they so tightly cling “I’ll know all the answers, understand everything on the day that God hands my child back to me” This pumpkin is sweet baby boys and girls Who never opened their eyes to this world Never cried, never feared Protected from pain Touched by their innocence We’re never the same Lives perfect and pure All things lovely and sweet And we honor them here ‘Till heaven we meet This pumpkin is all of the sweet little ones Whose lives although short were covered in love In kisses and snuggles, rocking and playing Their parents not knowing they wouldn’t be staying But the time that they had they would never trade Even if they could be saved from the pain Their cribs may be empty, but the promise remains One day they’ll hold their babies again This pumpkin is for all these sweet angel friends Whose parents all know this isn’t the end And how they are doing Tonight up in heaven Is better than anything we could imagine Though we’re missing our children And we’re still on this side Our hearts will continue to swell with pride At the special, the wondrous, the out of place things Like this white pumpkin, and the joy that it brings A reminder that our children are more than alive They are perfectly whole, all things are made right Angel parents, I know there’s still tears to be shed But I hope that this pumpkin brings peace instead Our babies are promised forever in heaven And that’s the best gift we could ever be given #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth #thewhitepumpkin #threelittlebirdsperinatal #pregnancyloss #infantloss