STILLBIRTH SUPPORT

ENDING A WANTED PREGNANCY

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When doctors recommend a therapeutic abortion of a very much wanted pregnancy, the compelling medical reasons are usually either a serious health condition of the mother or fetal abnormalities that are incompatible with life. The decision-making process to end these pregnancies can be straightforward for some of these situations, but not as easy for others.  The decision to have an abortion for medical reasons can be difficult and stressful for a woman and her partner. If you are faced with this situation, make sure you have all of the facts to make the best informed decision possible. However, recognize that in an emergency situation where your life is in critical danger, you might not have the ability to consider your options.

If you are a mother facing the possibility of a therapeutic abortion, please know the value of time.  Time.  You are not alone.  There are resources and  support for whatever your circumstances are, whether the death of your baby is inevitable due to diagnosis or whether the death of your baby feels like the only option in a terrible collection of pain and impossibility.  You are not alone.  There is value in time.  It’s not to trick you.  It’s to give you even just one morsel of the enormity of what may feel taken from you right now.  Please.  Use time.  When you are faced with making a decision regarding the duration of your baby's life in-utero, any decision you make....... having to face the decision itself can be excruciating and even traumatic.  Reaffirming that you are intrinsically worthy of respect, dignity and love is vital.  Please remember - You are worthy.  You are worthy.

If you are a mother who has given birth this way, you don’t need us to tell you that your baby was a baby.  And we don’t need you to confess that you are filled with regret.  Whatever your circumstance, wherever you have been, you are valuable.  You are worthy.  We will not blast out the cliché that you have reproductive rights.  That doesn’t begin to reach into the magnitude of what you may be carrying.  You have a right to healing.  Not conditional upon holding a certain threshold of shame.  But simply because you were created to receive love from One who loves you unconditionally and because that One not only holds your baby for you, but waits patiently for you to sense that love being given to you, so that when you finally become filled with that love, you can give some of that love in return.  (Source: Heidi Faith, Stillbirthday).

If you are considering a therapeutic abortion (sometimes called Elective Termination), Three Little Birds is here to support your family through the following services and programs:

  • Bedside Memory Making - Three Little Birds can provide materials to assist or for you to make lasting memories of your special baby including foot/hand molds, Recognition of Life Certificates, blankets and other personalized items.

  • Complimentary Maternity Photography to honor your family through our Community Partner, Image is Everything Studios in Pitman, NJ. Many families have found comfort in photographing their family and pregnancy as they lead up to delivery to bond and create lasting memories.

  • Birth Plan Preparation & Support - While families can not control what is happening, they can feel more empowered by creating a personalized birth plan to take to the hospital to provide staff with your wishes and expectations during your delivery and the time after.

  • Infant Remembrance Portraiture - All of our families have expressed their support of and gratitude for photography services after birth and/or during memory making. Our trained bereavement photographers will provide 20-30 gently edited photographs of your beautiful family.

  • Bump Casting Kits - Belly casting is a unique way to preserve your pregnancy bump.  We offer this service free to our families.  Once it hardens, it can then be decorated to reflect your special unique baby.   One of our trained doulas can create this bump with you or a kit can be given to you and your partner.  This is a great activity for mom and dad/non-birthing parent to share some intimacy, as well as a great bonding opportunity for your partner with the baby. 

  • 3D/4D HD Ultrasounds & Heartbeat Captures - Our Community Partner, Wondertime, LLC, supports our palliative care families by offering complementary 3D/4D ultrasounds and heartbeat captures for families to share with their immediate or extended family in their office in Westville, NJ.

  • Memorial Service Coordination/Support - We can assist families by finding compassionate service providers in your community to provide their services for free or at minimal costs. No one ever plans for these types of expenses that can create a financial burden for families. There are also financial assistance programs for families through other non-profit organizations in the area. We also work with churches and other groups to develop meaningful memorial or funeral services.

  • Complimentary Angel Gown - Angel Gowns are created by talented seamstresses out of donated wedding gowns. Each gown is handcrafted by volunteers and given to families for burial or as a keepsake. Every baby deserves a dignified garment to wear.

  • Vast Array of Financial and Bereavement Resources - We have local and regional resources to share to help assist you with anything you need.

  • One-on-One Empathetic, Non-Judgmental Support - Our organization was founded by others who have walked similar journeys. We are trained bereavement professionals who simply want to support your needs in these unique situations. Our job is to advocate when you feel powerless. We will ensure all of your wants and desires for your child and the time you have together are met. There are no requests too large to accommodate.