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If you were rejoicing over a positive pregnancy test just weeks or months ago, coping with a sudden and unexpected miscarriage can be difficult. Even though you never saw your baby (except, perhaps, on ultrasound), you knew that they were growing inside of you and you may have even formed a bond. You may have daydreamed about your baby and imagined yourself as a mother and all the experiences you would share together as they grow. And then, all the excitement of months (and years, and decades) came abruptly to a stop.
Understandably, you may feel a range of emotions: sad and disheartened over the loss; angry and resentful it happened to you; possibly withdrawn from friends and family (especially those who are pregnant or just had babies). You may have trouble eating and sleeping at first and accepting the finality of it all. You may cry a lot, or you may not cry at all. These are all among the many natural, healthy responses to a pregnancy loss. (Remember: your reaction is what’s normal for you.)
WHAT IS A MISCARRIAGE?
Miscarriage is defined when a baby dies in the womb before 20 weeks (NJ) or 16 weeks (PA) of pregnancy. While we don’t know all the causes of miscarriage, more often problems with chromosomes in genes cause most. It can take a few weeks to a month or more for your body to recover from a miscarriage. It may take longer to recover emotionally. Most miscarriages occur in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 (1 to 5 percent) pregnancies.
As many as half of all pregnancies may end in miscarriage. We don’t know the exact number because a miscarriage may happen before a woman knows she’s pregnant. Most women who miscarry go on to have a healthy pregnancy later.
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS
Signs and symptoms of miscarriage include:
If you have any of these signs or symptoms, call your healthcare provider. Your Doctor may want to perform some tests to make ensure everything is OK. Tests can include blood tests, a pelvic exam and an ultrasound. Many women have these signs and symptoms in early pregnancy and don’t miscarry.
There are also several different types of miscarriage a woman can experience, including:
TREATMENT FOR MISCARRIAGE
If you’ve had a miscarriage, your provider may recommend:
ADDITIONAL SUPPORT, RECOMMENDED READING & WEBSITES
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Three Little Birds Perinatal was lucky to have two fundraisers thrown for us this past weekend. The first event, Signs for Noah, was hosted by volunteer, Bobbi Daniels, as a way to gather her friends and family for a “paint and sip” party.
Bobbi found Three Little Bird’s website and resources about two months after experiencing a miscarriage at seven weeks. She and her husband had struggled with infertility for years and embarked upon a journey of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) to help them conceive their much loved and wanted child.
After a brief hello and introduction, Bobbi shared with everyone about her struggles. “When you go through IVF, you have already experienced the loss of not being able to conceive, which is a grief all its own. We were so hopeful after seeing numerous doctors and having a successful retrieval. We saw Noah when he was five days old, before he even was transferred to my womb. He was a microscopic ball of cells and we loved him from the moment we laid eyes on him. To lose him at seven weeks was DEVASTATING. Those weeks that followed were very dark times. Then I found Three Little Birds’ website and information and slowly I started to realize, Noah was real. He mattered and I will spend every day mourning the loss of his life, but now, I can also bond with other families and focus on the love his life has brought us. When I met Kristen, it was as if we had already known each other. She was the first person to ask me what my baby’s name was….and that was such a gift. His name is Noah. And I am his mama.”
Soon after Bobbi shared her story, something amazing happened…..other attendees boldly and bravely shared their stories with a room full of strangers. Many of these stories have been held in their hearts for years with no place to be shared. We hope each participant, whether they have a personal connection to pregnancy and infant loss, found some healing in the gathering that night in Noah’s memory.
Bobbi partnered with Wicked Restorations to create a beautiful sign for attendees to paint and take home with them. Each sign that was made was unique, however, the message all focused on family. Wicked Restorations also generously raffled off a basket of goodies to benefit Three Little Birds!
An important element to the gathering was the table of candles. "Three Little Birds sent me a Miscarriage Comfort Care Box with several items to bring comfort and validation as we grieved. One thing I loved from the box was the small candle and note encouraging us to light the candle in times of sadness to remember our baby's energy is always with us." says Noah's mom. Bobbi encouraged participants to light a candle in memory or honor of a baby in their heart or just all babies in general. "You could really feel the collective energy of love in the room. It is really powerful!"
Natalie Rivera, of Wicked Restorations, is also a Rodan + Fields Skin Care Consultant. Inspired by Bobbi’s story and the mission of our organization, she has declared “November is for Noah” and is donating half of her sales commission to Three Little Birds to help support the services and programs we provide for free to the local community.
The night ended with more than $800 in donations in Noah’s memory. This money will be earmarked for a legacy project in his honor however his parents wish to use it. This will ensure Noah’s legacy lives on!
Thank you again to Bobbi Daniels, her family and friends, Co-Founder Desiree Miller and sweet baby Noah, who we are so blessed to be touched by. We would also like to thank the Alpha Gun Club of Atco, NJ for donating the space for the event!
If you are interested in hosting a personal fundraiser for Three Little Birds, please contact us for more information on how! You do not have to have experienced pregnancy and infant loss to support us! We are open to all ideas and connections as to how you can help! Helping is healing!
Three Little Birds would like to thank our Community Sponsors of this event!
Wicked Restorations, Maple Shade, NJ
Image is Everything Studios, Swedesboro, NJ
Rodan + Fields Skin Care by Natalie Rivera
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Perinatal Comfort Care Package Miscarriage Comfort Care Package
Three Little Birds Perinatal's Comfort Care Packages are now available for sale via our Etsy store!
Our Perinatal Comfort Care Boxes make a great gift for someone suffering from stillbirth (20 weeks gestation or greater) or the loss of an infant up to six months. Each box is personalized with the baby's name. A photo of the personalized box can be sent to you prior to shipping. Click here to purchase a personalized Perinatal Comfort Care Box for a loved one!
Our Miscarriage Comfort Care Boxes make a great gift for someone suffering from miscarriage (20 weeks gestation or earlier). A photo of the package can be sent to you prior to shipping. Click here to purchase a Miscarriage Comfort Care Box for a loved one!
A GIFT THAT GIVES BACK!
The purchase of a Three Little Birds Comfort Care Package will also provide a free box to a Three Little Birds family through our Comfort Care Package Program! Thank you for supporting the mission and services of Three Little Birds Perinatal & Palliative Care Advocacy & Support Center!
Kristen Samuelson, SBD, Founder & Director